So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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