You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
