I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
