How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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