$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
