Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
