He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
