how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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