nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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