Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
