Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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