Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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