I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
