i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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