In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize