idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
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his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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