I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
