He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
