just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
