i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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