Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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