He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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