it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
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and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
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The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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