from now on my penis is your penis
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
