Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
