I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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