Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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