I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
