Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
