some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
