So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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