honey bunches of taint.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
How external is "for external use only"?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
