She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize