If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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