I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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