I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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