Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
