this beer tastes like vomit already
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize