if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
