Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize