so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
