Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
