fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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