So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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