My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
