So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
