i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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