I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
