No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just googled if crying burns calories
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
