Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
