i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
