shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I cockslap morals
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I love you.
Bad choice
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