Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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