He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
