I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
