make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
