I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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