a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
