When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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