you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
