So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
