i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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