So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
