So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Im part way to drunk.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
