I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
