His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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