i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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